Kicking The Habit
by MatureFetus
Summary: Cait has been clean for a couple months now, but she learns that kicking her chem addiction is not all that easy to do on her own. (Hancock/Cait) Written for the FKM. Rated for language and drug references.


**A/N: Written for the Fallout Kink Meme on LiveJornal.**

 _ **extreme spoilers if you haven't done Cait's personal quest!**_

* * *

 _The sound of hand hitting flesh and the burning of her cheek felt so real._

" _You're useless! Get out of this house!"_

Cait woke up abruptly from yet another bad dream. Sweat dripped down her back and face. She quickly checked her surroundings, then remembering she wasn't in that house or with those slavers anymore. She was in Sanctuary and, more importantly, she was safe. Cait suddenly got that craving for chems again. It's been nearly two months since her friend in the vault suit helped her get clean, so she wasn't ready to cave in and throw it all away. She decided to go for a walk to clear her head. She put on her shoes and laced them up.

The bright moonlight and cool breeze was welcoming as she opened the door. Goosebumps rose on her arms, but it wasn't cold enough for her to fetch a jacket. Cait closed the old door behind her. She strolled along the roads of the neighborhood. Judging by the scarcity of people outside, it must not yet be early morning. Usually Preston Garvey was out and about, patrolling the area an hour before sunrise. She saw no sign of the minuteman.

Her thoughts wandered in loops before settling on that nightmare, still fresh in her mind. That sick desire of something came back. If she had a huff of Jet right about now, her anxiety levels would decrease and she would have not a single worry for just a few minutes. If she had a dose or two of Med-x, she could probably fall back to sleep and have more pleasant dreams. She didn't need the chems anymore, she just wants them. She wants to feel less shitty for at least a few moments.

Cait leaned against the wall of a random house and sighed heavily. "Fuck, stop thinkin' that way," she scolded herself. She heard a voice come from behind the house. It was no mistake, it was Hancock. Cait walked around the side of the house. Hancock was relaxing in a patio chair with his back to her, talking to Dogmeat who was sitting at his feet and wagging his tail, happy for the attention. Cait eyed a bottle of Daytripper on the table next to the two. She wasn't noticed yet as Hancock continued on with his talking.

"I always wondered why they called dogs 'man's best friend'. Never really had pets of my own growing up. I tried bringing a Mirelurk hatchling home once, and damn, I never saw my dad's face so red before. Shot the thing right in front of my brother and I and told us never to bring anything living home again." He reached forward to pat Dogmeat on the head as he let loose a short laugh.

Cait finally approached him. "'Aye there."

"Hey, whatcha need?"

Cait took a seat across from him. She hid her freckled face with her red hair. "Chems," she said, looking down in guilt.

"Whoa there, sister. No can do. I'm not getting you hooked back onto that crap." Hancock rested his arms on the table as Cait looked up at him with narrow eyes. "If you have somethin' to talk about, I can listen. But don't expect me to hand you any chems."

"Why?" her voice strained. She put her elbows on the table and rested her head on her hands. "I fuckin' see you handin' them out to people. Why not me?"

"Because I know you. I know that you're trying to stop depending on it for every little thing."

Cait stiffened. "The hell do you know about that?"

"Have I ever told you how I became a ghoul? I did this to myself. I made myself become this because I was tired of looking at the same sorry, pathetic little shit in the mirror every day. I let some bad things go down in Diamond City and all I did was watch. I let McDonough screw so many people over. I fled to Goodneighbor and became mayor after awhile. Leaving Diamond City, becoming a ghoul, and getting hooked on chems was all just me running away from my burdens." Hancock reached a hand over and gently caressed one of her arms. The texture of his hand was soothing to her. "Trust me, sister, I know more about what you feel than you think."

All Cait could do was be silent. She was unsure how to respond to all of that. "I guess I'm just bein' selfish," she finally managed. Ashamed and guilt is what she felt at that moment. She was going to throw all of the vaultie's efforts to help her out of the window. Betraying her friend just for a few moments to be high. Cait held back tears. "I just hate feeling this way. Being sober sucks."

Hancock stood up. "You feel like walking?"

Cait sniffled. "Where to?"

"Nowhere far."

* * *

They reached the Red Rocket Station. Hancock held open the door for her. He followed her inside. He led her to a room on the side that resembled a small bedroom.

"Now that we won't have people eavesdropping, mind telling me what's up with you?" he inquired. He took a seat on the bed.

Cait felt touched that he would drag her all the way out here to chat with her about her problems. She definitely feels more comfortable here talking about herself than she did in Sanctuary. She didn't have to worry about people sneaking up on her. The last time she tried having a personal talk with someone, MacCready threatened to blackmail her after overhearing her talk. She sat next to Hancock. "I had a really bad dream."

"We all get those sometimes," he reassured her. "It just happens."

Cait fidgeted. "It felt so real, though! I was scared that I was back at that shitty house wit' those shitty parents. The only thing that ever calmed my crazy ass down was chems. I don' have that anymore. What am I supposed to do?" Tears attempted to escape yet again. She bit her tongue to remain calm.

Hancock rested a hand on her shoulder, carefully turning her more towards him. "But it wasn't real. You're here. Chems can't take the pain away forever. It's just a dangerous and temporary solution. They make you a different person."

"But I wan' it," she replied quietly.

"I don't want you to have it."

"I'll find some somewhere."

Hancock's eyes hardened. "Stop that."

"Make me, ya fucking-"

Their lips met before she could finish that insult.

Cait's eyes widened. She was downright appalled. This was the last thing she expected, but she eventually went along with it. Her eyes finally fluttered shut as she returned the kiss, pressing her soft lips against his rough ones a little harder. Her hands grabbed at the front his coat before pushing him down without breaking the kiss. Hancock groaned at her sudden aggressiveness. Cait straddled him as her hands roamed his face, feeling every ridge and bump. Their mouths separated as he reached for a handful of her hair and gave it a few tugs, earning a moan.

Hancock moved his face to her exposed neck, trailing kissed all the way to her blushed cheek. "You sure you want to do this, doll?" he whispered gently into her ear.

The question caused Cait to open her eyes and make eye contact with him. He wore a genuine smile. She blinked, not knowing what to say. She's been with a lot of guys before, but usually ones she hardly knew. And never with a ghoul. She sees Hancock almost every day. They shared part of their personal stories with each other, but she wasn't sure if she could go for a quick fuck and go back to pretending it never happened. It might cause problems, and more problems was the last thing that either of them probably need. She was taking too long to answer, she noticed, as the smile faded from his face.

"I...I dunno," she finally answered. Hancock assumed that meant she was rejecting him. He lifted her off of him so that he could free his legs to let them hang off the side of the bed. Cait was struggling to find more words until he responded.

"That's fine. I understand."

"Understand what?"

"I'm a ghoul."

Cait was taken aback by his reasoning before chuckling. "So what?"

Hancock signed in frustration. "You probably think I'm gross and you're just doing this because ya feel like you have to." Two warm hands grabbed his face on each side, forcing him to look at her.

"That's not it at all, darlin'," she smiled, her green eyes lighting up. "I just don't wanna ruin the kind of friendship we got. It's nice to have someone that sorta understands me." She brought him in for a tight hug. They held each other in silence for awhile before Hancock spoke up.

"Friendship?"

"Or relationship," Cait shrugged. "Whatever you wanna call what we have here. Now, lie down and cuddle with me or somethin'."

He released her to remove his long coat. His hat was already on the floor from their earlier shenanigans. Hancock grabbed a blanket from a cabinet drawer since he was already up. He sat back down and covered their bodies with the warm fabric. Cait was already prepared to embrace him once more. She latched onto his chest after he got comfortable. Hancock draped an arm over her. "I hope that you know that after tonight you're free to ask me for advice. I want you to stay this Cait, not the depressed, old you."

Cait snuggled closer to his chest for warmth. "The old me was fun," she complained.

"Sister, don't get me started again."

"What are you gonna do, kiss me again?" she cackled.

Hancock smirked. "You don't have to press my buttons to get kisses." He pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Promise me you will try not to get into chems. You have been doing so well the last few months, you can keep doing it."

"You're right. I have you to keep me in line now, so it'll be a lil less rough on me."


End file.
